


On Second Thought

by TanyaReed



Category: Castle
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-16
Updated: 2012-10-16
Packaged: 2017-11-16 11:00:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/538722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TanyaReed/pseuds/TanyaReed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I wrote this after the second season finale.  Could Castle just leave with Gina?</p>
            </blockquote>





	On Second Thought

The elevator hadn't even reached the ground floor when Rick's mind started to process what he had seen. Up there, he had carefully drawn a wall around his heart so that he could interact with his friends without thinking of Kate and Demming squirreled away in a love nest for the weekend. He had kept his distance from her so the walls would hold, knowing that Gina would soon be there to help him forget.

It was not until he got into the elevator and started down that he realized how torn up Kate seemed to be that he was leaving. He had hardened his heart and refused to see that she had something important to say. At the time, he thought it might be her, “Demming's good for me. Can you and I still be friends?” speech. Now, he wasn't so sure.

As the elevator stopped and dinged, something else forced its way into the protective self absorption he had enveloped himself in. Kate had been near tears. She had been near tears, and he had refused to hear what she had to say. He had brushed her off as if she were one of the many other disposable women in his life instead of listening to her as the best friend he had ever had. In doing so, he had probably hurt her, and that was the last thing he had ever wanted to do. Even if she had been about to give the speech he had been dreading, he still owed it to her to listen without an audience.

“Gina, can you wait here for me for a minute? I forgot something upstairs.”

She searched his face before nodding and saying, “Yes.”

“I'll be right back,” he promised with a smile he didn't feel. He hadn't felt like smiling for a long time.

As he rode up the elevator, he wondered if he should apologize for not really listening or for letting Gina steal her good-bye. Now that his mind's eye let him see the look on Kate's face, he knew something had been wrong.

Everything was silent as the elevator doors opened. Rick wondered what had happened to the merriment present just moments before.

He immediately strode to Kate's desk but paused as he approached. 

She was sitting there, all by herself, sadness painted on her features. It was a private moment, and she looked...Well, the only way he could describe it was heartbroken. His stomach wrenched as he realized that he had almost left her alone like this. That he had almost not even seen it. What kind of friend was he, anyway?

And he _was_ her friend. His hurt and anger over Demming had hidden it from him for awhile. He had even started to believe that, if he had to live without loving her, he was better off without a Kate Beckett in his life. With his brief glance at her unguarded face, he knew this was not the case. She was his friend, and he needed her.

“Kate?” he said gently.

Shaken from her thoughts, she looked up. Surprise washed away the broken sadness and brought back the Kate he knew.

“Castle? I thought you'd be half way to the Hamptons by now.”

Without answering, he settled himself into his usual chair. He noticed her trying to hide a flinch, almost as if he had pinched her.

“So, tell me,” he said after they were both silent for awhile.

“Tell you what?” she asked carefully.

“Tell me what you wanted to tell me that was too personal for Gina to hear...and tell me what happened. What was I too wrapped up in myself to ask about before?”

She shook her head, dark hair falling over her face. “Nothing important.”

She had shut down on him. He knew that he deserved it, but he also knew that it wasn't all his fault. Demming...

Sudden insight hit him. “Did Demming break up with you? Do you want me to go kick his ass?”

The subtle lines of anguish that she probably didn't even know were there smoothed away as she laughed quietly.

“He hurt you, didn't he?” he asked, this time deadly serious.

She shook her head again. “No. I broke up with him.”

“If that's true, then why...? Did something else happen?” Then, another light bulb went off. “Is it me?”

An attempt at a smile tugged at the side of her lip. “Does it surprise you to know that I'm going to miss you?”

“Well, yeah,” he answered honestly.

She raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

“I kind of thought...well...that you wanted me to go.”

She looked so stunned that he immediately knew he was mistaken. He wanted to tell her how much it had hurt him when she pulled away from him, but he held it in because he was afraid it would bring that terrible look back to her face.

“I was going to tell you that I know I'm a hard person to get to know,” she told him softly, “but I'm glad we've become friends. You mean a lot to me, and I'll miss you while you're gone. I've become so used to having you with me...on cases, I mean,” she hastened to add, “that I can't imagine your not being here. I know our partnership is probably going to end sometime, but I didn't expect it to be so abruptly.”

Kate stopped speaking, but he could tell that she had more to say.

After a moment of contemplating his answer, Rick simply said, “I'm sorry that I hurt you by shutting you out.” He meant it, though she had hurt him in the same way. “And, I'm sorry that I let Gina interrupt our good-bye.”

“It doesn't matter,” she replied, her eyes falling to her desk. Her cheeks were slightly flushed from her small speech.

Despite her words, he knew it did matter. It wouldn't have made her so sad if it didn't.

“Why did you break up with Demming?” It wasn't what he wanted to ask, but it tumbled out.

She still didn't look at him as she answered, “He just wasn't the right fit.”

“This is going to sound mean, but I can't say that I'm sorry. He's an all right guy, but he's not your type.”

Her eyes were unreadable as she finally looked up and into his. “And what is my type, Castle?”

He was tempted to say, “me,” but he was afraid of pushing her too far. Still, with Demming out of the picture, he began to feel a little hopeful. In fact, he wanted to cancel his plans with Gina and extend an invitation to Kate once more. He didn't say this either.

Instead, he said, “Someone with a good sense of humour. Dashing. Handsome. Creative.” Then, he smiled and added teasingly, “Someone who pulls your pigtails.”

She smiled back. “Maybe you're right. That kind of person is never boring. Annoying, yes. Boring, no.”

He was glad to see that his words brought some of the fun back to her eyes. Even so, there was something sad and serious behind it.

“Well, that's a start.”

“I really am going to miss you, you know.”

“It's only a couple of months.”

Suddenly, he didn't really want to go any more. Demming was gone. Kate was looking at him warmly and with amusement. Staying in New York would be much more fun. And maybe Kate did care about him as much as he cared about her.

“Maybe I'll finish the book quickly and come home early,” he continued. “You could always come visit me. Remember? Tanning. Beach. Sunshine...Bikini.”

The smile dropped from her face. “I don't think Gina would like that much.”

“I give her a week before she's climbing the walls. She'll be back in New York before I'm even finished unpacking. She's a workoholic—which is one of the reasons why our marriage failed. Besides,” he waved a hand dismissively, “we're mostly just friends.”

“Friends with benefits?” Kate asked with a lift of an eyebrow.

“Benefits? We didn't even have benefits when we were married.”

Her brow drew down in puzzlement. “Then what's the purpose of her going with you?”

He shrugged. “To have some fun. I've been feeling kind of low lately,” He avoided her eyes so that she wouldn't know the reason why, “and I really needed some fun. Since my favorite detective was otherwise engaged,” he felt a knife twist to his gut as his mind filled with his imaginings of Kate and Demming on their romantic weekend, “I thought I'd ask someone I always have fun with—when we're not trying to kill each other, that is. Besides, Gina wants to make sure I get the book done before I even think of returning to New York...or to chasing murderers.”

Something changed in Kate, but he couldn't tell what it was. Usually, he could read her so well, but this eluded him.

“You won't let any other writers shadow you while I'm gone, will you? My chair better not have new butt prints when I come back.”

When he first decided that the Spy Adventures case was going to be his last, at least until he finished his book, he wasn't sure he would be back. In fact, he was pretty sure that he wouldn't. Now, he was positive that he had to come back. He didn't know how he could have thought that leaving Kate alone to live her life would be the best thing for both of them.

“Don't worry. I think one crazy writer is about all I can take.”

“So, we're good?”

Several different emotions flitted over her face before she nodded firmly. “We're good.”

“I'm glad. I'm going to miss you too, you know.”

“Of course you will. I'm too wonderful not to.”

He chuckled and got to his feet. “Well, I'd better go.”

“Yeah. Gina.”

“That's right. I told her I was going to the bathroom,” he lied cheekily.

He was about to turn when she stopped him with a simple, “Rick?”

His name hung there in the air between them. He was afraid to move, afraid that doing so would make the sound of it from her lips vanish into nonexistence. 

Quietly, he asked, “Yes?”

“I'm sorry too. I didn't realize that I made you think...that I didn't want you here anymore. You're a nuisance, but you're also my friend.”

“Ditto.”

They shared another smile, one so personal that it warmed him. As he walked away from her, he felt something inside that he hadn't felt for weeks. 

It was hope.


End file.
